stupid girls - thread of "..."

[Jak 1,381]

After my ex split up with me a dick friend of mine signed me up to POF with a profile and pictures and all that shit and he keeps going on it even though he won't tell me the password or what messages he sends to people. The only reason I know he's been on it is when I get a slew of emails that are like "jasmina-xx1 wants to meet you!" or "helenthedino has sent you a message!", and then I click on the profiles to see wtf kind of monster lurks the site.

I will update this with odd things and people I find hidden in my emails.

Today I get this beauty:

Two things really wrong here for a start. Firstly she looks like the puppet thing from Saw. Secondly, while her apparent appreciation for correct grammar is a plus, her complete disregard for actually following the rules is a painfully obvious sign that she's probably just seen a pretty girl say the same thing on her profile and she assumes it's the key to a man's heart.

It gets worse still; I continue to read her profile description and it turns out that this dragon is from Dudley, home of the worst accent in the country. At this point I'm honestly just feeling bad for her.

[Shadow 0]

Dislikes Chilis. She must have met Jordan at one point.

Also jak just wtf is this. Inb4 you get a virus through opening mails.

[Jamie 2,319]

Omfg this is brilliant...

And yeah that one looks like she's experienced jordan.

[ThomasR 1]

Put Shamu back!

[w33zy 1,523]

Waiting At the red light district to start working, i have to wait for a Guy who is gonna give us a key to enter building. This thread saved me some time, Thanks for that.

[Biggles 44]

Is that Amy?

[VENGA BUS 2,027]

Omg. This is amazing. I might post some similar retarded shit I've gotten from Tinder*.

*warning: immense levels of stupidity ahead

Okay, so here I present Lauren. Before I continue, I'll explain Tinder for the uninitiated. It's essentially a vanity app. You get a load of profiles (just a few pictures for each, and a blurb), and you swipe yes/no depending on whether or not you like them. I, however, just swipe yes to all, because I like to see how many likes I get.

So I swiped yes to a pretty 19 year old. She looked like the superb sort to empty my balls into, and whilst she didn't look like the sharpest tool in the shed, I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

Quite quickly, it became apparent that this benefit was misplaced, whilst the doubt was not. Lauren could not have been further from being a budding Socrates beneath a bimbo exterior.

I'll let the below exchange speak for itself.

Unfortunately, shortly after, our conversation broke down. I fear she felt she wasn't challenged enough. That, and I had by this point run out of incredibly shit jokes, and wasn't prepared to go and google more. Love and romance is all sliding doors, I guess, because this beauty turned up only a bit later. She looked like a clever sort so I went for a shitty edgy angle. It can work and it cannot work.

In this case, it did not work.

[Biggles 44]

#VengaOnDatingApps

[Professor 0]

Because I want to get my pussy slammed.

Sweet jesus.

Laughed so hard I snorted 35p energy drink by accident.

Nothing like red bull to clear the sinuses.

But yea, how did you not keep an engaging conversation flowing with that one venga? I'm sure she enjoys classic literature and good old country music.

[ronmonster 2]

I haven't talked to a girl not related to me in about a year.

mfw

[haydo 0]

oh

cool

[Skeff 289]

Because I want to get my pussy slammed.

I didnt laugh at the actual picture, but the way you put "girl who wants her pussy slammed" in the quote box made me chuckle

[Fluxy 1,660]

On the topic of tinder, longest chat I have ever had with a girl, pulled out the heavy guns. Meeting up next week sometime, wish me luck

Long but worth the read!

[haydo 0]

fluxy grafting for a shag, you just don't give up lmfao

[VENGA BUS 2,027]

keep at it fluxeh.