Scrobbesbyrig 422 Posted January 9, 2014 Keiji more stories pls. kk. Okay, heres a really, really short autistic story. 8 years old, Only began to speak WORDS when I was 7, so only a year of language, Dont really know how to speak sensibly. We have a teaching assistant who was left with the entire class after the teacher left because a meeting with other teachers. Teaching Assistant doesn't know what to do with us, so she just sits us down and asks us what we want to be. "Josh, what would you like to be when your older." "A athlete" (Josh sort of is now, hes a fast & incredibly cool guy, never had a problem with him. He's a life guard now) "Thats *COOL* (Adult Sarcasm to younger people when hearing jobs, you know what im talking about) and you Grace?" My turn is coming up, I knew what I wanted to be, just a teacher because I thought it was a awesome job. "A lawyer" "Oh wow thats *AWESOME* (Bitch) and you Sam?" *SIR WE HAVE LOCATED A CASE OF AUTISM WITHIN THE MAIN HUB "I........I......I-I-I" *SIR ITS SPREADING ALL OVER THE HUB, ITS COMING ON TO DANGEROUS LEVELS "Its okay Sam, and you-" *ACTIVATE COOLANTS NOW "N-N-No! I-I-I kn-kn-know....." *SIR IT DID NOTHING, ITS OVER 98% OF THE HUB "I..................." *DAMMIT BOYS WE LOST THE HUB, ACTIVATE EMERGENCY AUTISM REPLACERS FROM RECENT GAMES NOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW EVACUATE EVACUA- "I want to be a bitch" shit. 1 mitch reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post
Skeff 289 Posted January 9, 2014 I always wanted to be a bitch too Quote Share this post Link to post
Scrobbesbyrig 422 Posted January 13, 2014 IIIIIIIITSSSSSSSSS MONDAY! And we all know what time it is! Autist Story-Time! We shall talk about the story of how I destroyed 4 aisles in a Boots Store. So, this started a day after my birthday, on my birthday I got the Heely's (Roller-Blade Shoes) and I wanted to go out to the town centre and spend all my birthday money. (Never knew how to keep money, always knew how to spend it.) Throughout the entire journey, I tried my heelys, I was still a little bit wobbly, but I kept my balance. But my mom needed to go to boots as well (probably the "Oh Sam, I need to go into boots to get some batteries (fucking batteries), it'll only be a few minutes) So I found myself in boots, a little bit grumpy, but I was still happy about my heelys, So, massive autist moment. I decided to try my heelys inside the store, while going down the longest aisle they have. For the first 3 times, I was successful, only getting scowls from employees and other customers. But I wanted to do it one last time. So as I began to push my heels back while running to prepare I heard a massive shout. "SAM" My mom shouted at me It shat me up so fucking much, that it shook my left foot and my heely landed. With my other foot still on the floor. So I grabbed the nearest- You guessed it. I grabbed the nearest aisle and that comes tumbling down with me. It then proceeded to a domino effect, and knocked down the rest of the isles, much to the dismay and screams of employees and customers alike. Nevertheless, the aftermath was absolutely fucking shit for me, though the manager did have sympathy for me and didnt press for damages. However, I had everything taken away for me that I had for my birthday for a month. I wasn't interested in the heelys after that. 1 mitch reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post
UnSeen 1,036 Posted January 13, 2014 I wasn't interested in the heelys after that. Lel talk about finding that out the hard way ahah. Another great story Keiji, I love em xD Quote Share this post Link to post
Skeff 289 Posted January 13, 2014 I hope it was a small boots, because they only have like 3 aisles. I just imagine you taking out the whole shop Quote Share this post Link to post
haydo 0 Posted January 15, 2014 The boots in my town is massive and so are the aisles so I can imagine you wiping shit out.. Quote Share this post Link to post
Scrobbesbyrig 422 Posted January 22, 2014 Okay guys! Im 2 days late! But here is another chapter of my life! This story is about the amount of weeaboos that came to replace year 9 in my school. So during my time at school, I had 2 free periods on my table, which the headmaster soon converted into slots to help teachers, instead I spent the majority of the time with the IT assistants, just because I wanted to hear their stories (Both of them served in the Gulf War, and they complain about how they went from "being shot at by Iraqi soldiers to this shit") But one day, they gave me a bunch of wires and told me to go and connect them to some "other shit" in the music room with computers in. So, like the good little bitch I was, I did so, and as I entered the music room, it was already inhabited by another class, this class was a year 9 class (like the title) These year 9's looked like people who would be like those rich kids from academies, all smiling when I entered, short haircuts, immaculate uniform. To be honest, I was quite impressed about how they all looked, (my year were a bunch of fucking plonkers) So as I started to connect wires to the "other shit", one of the students stands up and just starts laughing out loud. Confused, I asked what was wrong, and they just replied "Im watching Lucky Star!" (THIS is what lucky star is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucky_Star_(manga)) Then INSTANTLY, the entire class just turns to the computer she was on "Oh awesome! Which episode are you on?" "OMFG is Konata doing on of her references again?!" "OMG yes she is!" "I LOVED THE HARUHI SKETCH HAHAAHHAHA" This continued on, they all huddled around this single computer, now proceeding to watch stuff that just screams "noe sociala lief" It got so much on my fucking nerves, that I ended up getting mad at the wires, and threw them across the room, because I just couldn't handle how they were speaking. I did a little digging around on YouTube to find the corresponding videos that made me get so fucking mad at wires. Imagine these upcoming videos, playing in the background at 100% volume, in a over-heated room, with a bunch of Year 9's watching and laughing and saying stupid shit about it. There were a few others of these, but I can't remember them, and I don't want to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJrvA7aLe-0 Quote Share this post Link to post
VENGA BUS 2,027 Posted January 22, 2014 10 seconds of the first clip was enough to give me cancer. This is awful. The IT assistants sound boss though. Quote Share this post Link to post
Scrobbesbyrig 422 Posted March 19, 2014 So here's a short, quick Autist-Moment. Playing GTA 5, Im doing the underwater missions in the ocean. Now, I hate 2 things in this world. And those are, Oceans, and Sharks. Sadly, fucking GTA 5 has both of these. So, Im swimming through the ocean, with my mate next to me, and all of a sudden a red dot appears in the ocean. "THATS A FUCKING SHARK MAN" "Its not a shark Sam..." "ITS A FUCKING SHARK, I CANT DEAL WITH THIS CHLOE." "Sam, all you have to do is-" "NO, GO FUCK YOURSELF, I HATE FUCKING SHA-" Turning the camera around while this is going on, next thing I know, a massive fucking shark appears on Camera. I literally just, autism the fuck out, run upstairs & hide under my pillow because I couldn't deal with it. It took Chloe a full 40 minutes to calm me down before I continued playing the game, even then I just half-cried the entire time. 1 mitch reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post
Gaz 13 Posted March 19, 2014 Chloe sounds hot. Slip her a finger. All will be ok. Quote Share this post Link to post
mitch 457 Posted March 19, 2014 Now, I hate 2 things in this world. And those are, Oceans, and Sharks. Well fuck you too Quote Share this post Link to post
Skeff 289 Posted March 19, 2014 "THATS A FUCKING SHARK MAN""Its not a shark Sam..." You called her man? She lied to you!? But she sounds cool, watching you play GTA girls dont even watch me stalk them Quote Share this post Link to post