Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
VENGA BUS

Re-introduction VENGA

Recommended Posts

Hi all,

Given that I'm around shitposting, I feel I owe it's only fair that people become somewhat acquainted with the cunt behind the cuntish persona of venga. Real name is Caspian.

I'm 25, I read English Literature at Exeter University. I've done a few different jobs since leaving uni, from flogging posh insurance, to working with a builder as a labourer. I've just gotten a promotion in what I do now, as I work in finance as a cross-class commercial insurance underwriter (mainly focusing in liability and property & casualty insurances). I hope to crack into marine insurance (underwriting cargo ships etc.), and end up working at Lloyd's of London, as despite the market's shrinkage it is still superb for marine underwriting.

I live in Manchester, but I have lived in York since I was 12, in Sydney between age 5-12 and London until I was five. I lived in Sydney as my dad is from New South Wales, so I'm half-Australian. Lucky enough to have the passport too.

I'm engaged to a pretty awesome girl IMO who puts up with my cancer shit. We're having to do distance at the moment, as she lives in Bombay/Mumbai in India. We met at a party when I was doing my first underwriting job last year - some bloke (bi) was seeing a gay friend of hers, and the bi bloke invited me to the party, as he interned at my old office and we got on. It kind of went from there. Between us we have like three passports, so we'll need to decide where we want to end up living. I think we'll work in the UK for a bit, probably fuck off to Dubai to get some tax-free earnings, and then at some point in the future retire to somewhere like India. The heat is good for you when you're old af so no arthritis. But that is fucking miles away.

I'm loving living in Manchester, but the pollution sucks and I need to have like two showers a day. I've noticed that people seem to have pretty crappy skin in big cities, and I guess it must be the pollution. Random observation. Only spent my first week there but I'm enjoying it.

EDIT: I also playing Counter-Strike: Global Offensive competitive matchmaking with my associate Jak, who likes to adopt a number of different accents and characters whilst playing with our American cousins across the pond. I also like to adopt a few different characters. First off is Guillaume, a Frenchman who insists on speaking only in French in every game he plays with Americans. When he happens to find someone who's Quebecois, and actually speaks French, he just says, "je comprends pas, ton accent est merde" and then resumes babbling and calling in French. Second up is Sandeep, whose name is funnily enough that of my God-father to be. Sandeep speaks only in Hindi, and occasionally in very broken Hinglish (Hindi-English bastardisation). This is a character that some of you may have had the misfortune to meet on the JB server, but he's been retired from JB, only to make his appearance in comp with Jak.

Last but certainly not least is Li'l James. Li'l James is from Harrogate, Yorkshire, and is the first (and unfortunately for his parents, only) child, born to two solicitors. His parents earn a lot of money, and have given James every advantage needed to start life with a headstart. James has consistently failed to live up this. Despite his parents being 'one nation tories', Li'l James prefers to victimise and hate the poor, as well as being largely homophobic and racist. he is only 12 years old, and after he failed the 11+, his parents realised that he was too stupid for grammar school. Consequently and begrudgingly, his parents have had to shell out for private school. Having barely scraped through the common entrance exam (with heavy tutelage), he is now in first form at Harrogate Grammar School (independent, not grammar school), and is currently disappointing his parents with mediocre grades and poor behaviour.

Despite his lack of academic ability, James is certainly an acute observer of the people he comes across in games, and in particular their weak-points. He never hesitates to point out that an American he's playing with "probably has parents who are too poor to send him to college" and that "you're all fat faggots anyway". Li'l James occasionally pops onto the teamspeak and onto the jailbreak server, but he's aware that he can't let rip like he does in competitive matchmaking.

I'm part of what is probably known as the salty vet group. I'd like to add that any sense of entitlement and privilege I feel is not the result of membership to that group, but more the product of a dysfunctional upbringing.

Thanks for reading.

-venga

edit: QUESTIONS WELCOME :glad2:

Edited by Guest

Share this post


Link to post

Could you please add some info to your intro post, let the community get to know you!!

Kidding.

But, I think Lil James Lewis deserves as much as an introduction as you do.

*starts debating writing my 4th or 5th reintroduction"

Share this post


Link to post

Allo Venga. I hope you spent time with your family on Christmas day rather than on JB, lmao. Nice to see you around on TS again, I remember like a year ago our ranks were reversed and you wanted me to be a Mod. JB needs it's old pedantic HR team back, so I hope to see you on the server wearing that tag again soon. There are too many requests for the Spiderman gun that needs taking care of too.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...