Excuses for breaking something

[Guest]

Something you broke, but your excuse to not get you in the shit.

"My dog sat on my mic and broke it"

Post yours?

[Raze 0]

I just get my Dick out and sing "Heyayeayaeayyaeya" and everything is okay

[kn1ghtwolf2012 1]

i paid for it, and I broke it. oh shit.

[PAINSCOPE! 0]

My dog ate it.

Then I butchered the dog and sent it off to Thailand.

Fuck...

[Biggles 44]

I attached it to my dog who then ran away all the way to london, camped out in the freezing dark with it still attached to its collar, the dog froze in the british cold but somehow manages to thaw out again in spring, he then proceeded to shit all over the floor and roll around in it, causing the object attached to be completely covered in shit just like the dog, a computer fanatic then tried to install Anti-virus software on the dog itself by shoving a USB memory stick up its anus causing another shitfest catastrophe, the man took the dog back to his apartment as he rather enjoyed being covered in shit and started making internet porn staring him and the dog shitting all over him with him rubbing it into his chest and getting highly aroused, later that day the man decided to try hanging himself briefly for a new way of jacking off , unfortunatly for him the rope tightened around his neck causing him to suffocate to death, the dog sat in the corner of the room amazed by the past day of shitting all over his new master and watching him slowly die before him that he thought it would be a marvelous idea to eat the already decaying dead body, upon finishing his fine dining using his manners he had learnt from his previous master (Biggles) he excused himself from the dinner table to go get desert, he opened the fridge with his now human shaped hands and realised there was no real pudding in the fridge, only frozen rolled up shit, he looked around for something to eat, and that was when we realised the object was still on his collar, and so in the end my dog ate it.

[PAINSCOPE! 0]

Biggles, high kudos for all the writing. I didn't even read it and must twist your nipples politely :D

[Fluxy 1,660]

Biggles...all if my "what the fuck" belongs to you right now

[Guest]

Biggles, Anything else to say, too short imo

LOL JOKES MORE NAO

[tweep 3]

Sorry, it was an accident.

[Fluxy 1,660]

Flat out denial...if you say no it wasent you enough, you actually start to belive it and can then argue with more force and conviction

[Domnomnom 1]

I once accidentally kicked a guy in the head in junior school. We were running along, he was behind me, tripped and fell on my heel and I gave him a massive bruise on the forehead. Nobody believed my innocence :(

[kn1ghtwolf2012 1]

Biggles...all if my "what the fuck" belongs to you right now

+1

[McLovin 4]

I once broke a lamp with a beachball since I thought it was a good idea to play dodgeball witha beachball in house.

I once broke some bones in my lil brothers hand since he punched me. (Due to the punch he gave me he broke his bones. I didnt hit back or anything.)

I once broke my bed since I thought it was a good idea to use it as a trampoline.

I once broke a macbook since I would put it on my feet while listening to music and swing it around.

I have a lot more but when I think of it they are all quite boring.

[ThorbenBAMF 18]

Question is McLovin. What did you say to your parents after you broke it?

[McLovin 4]

I once broke a lamp with a beachball since I thought it was a good idea to play dodgeball witha beachball in house.

I once broke some bones in my lil brothers hand since he punched me. (Due to the punch he gave me he broke his bones. I didnt hit back or anything.)

I once broke my bed since I thought it was a good idea to use it as a trampoline.

I once broke a macbook since I would put it on my feet while listening to music and swing it around.

I have a lot more but when I think of it they are all quite boring.

Question is McLovin. What did you say to your parents after you broke it?

Alright from top to bottom,

The lamp was bad at dodging while playing dodgebal. That joke cost me my PC for 2 weeks.

My lil brothers hand was... kinda a tricky one and I tried to explain it but I got a punishement anyway.

I told my dad about the bed that it was old and it broke when I was sleeping, he repaired it sort off.

As for my macbook noone cared except for me... I cried that day.